7 months and long way to go…

R and I complete 7 months of Marriage.. Though we both have been in a relationship past 6 yrs after marriage I agree things have changed and changed for good. 7 months and we have changed for good..

1. Earlier I had sleepless nights because of your snoring and now I can’t sleep if I don’t hear your snore.. 🙂

2. We manage both the families so well despite being so far from them.

3. We fight less now.. And before a fight start both of us become cool.

4. The way we both hog. And the way you have made me relish sweet things more..

5. I love the way you do all the home shopping. Though I yell at you for always getting more than what I ask for but I love the way you get small things that I love.

6. Our long drives.. The way you let me sleep in car.

7. You my personalized Dj.. I ask and you look for that song and play it for me.

 

 

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How much you will wait???

Have you every waited for someone or something so much that you didn’t even let that person know that you are waiting….

The question was asked to me by my friend. And I also wondered what to answer. It made me ponder that how many times I have waited for someone so much and have never been able to let that person know that I am waiting. How many times I have been badly hurt by someone so much that I never mentioned that to that person..

Dad would always tell me to be vocal about everything never expect people to understand the unsaid things. Rather than feeling bad about someone not doing what we want its better we either convey our requirements or simply don’t expect.

My previous boss had once told me, we wait till we bother once we leave that bothered feeling nothing stops us.. We just have to decide what we want. Everything then simply falls in its place.

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Self-loathing.. :-(

Disclaimer: Silly post ahead..

Have you ever wished you had kept your mouth shut. or you shouldn’t have went after that thing or a person when you knew it’s forbidden???? Its said Forbidden things have a special charm. How true that is…

I often say things and then regret opening my mouth at the first place. I often get involved in things and then regret why I even thought of poking my big nose in that.. A lot of times I get close to people and then wonder why I did that when I knew the result.. Something in me always tells me to try, to go ahead and check how forbidden the thing is. The devil in me gets a kick when I get to do things which are denied.. And all the way my heart and brain keep playing a game of who wins and who loses.

Brain tells no heart says yes.. A lot of times I have wished I wasn’t so emotional and I would rely more on brains than heart. Brains give sensible and logical reasoning’s warns us of the outcome still we fools follow heart and end up falling right on our face..

Wish even after falling on face so many times I learn but I am a serious slow-learner in this..

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Miss you but can’t tell how much

This an old post lying in my drafts ( I modified it a bit ).. This was when R had gone to India and I was all alone here in Manila.. A lot of things happened in that fortnight of being alone in a place where I actually knew just a handful of people..

I use to go to this park behind our house often in the evenings. I am not a morning person and I always prefer the later half of the day. And especially parks I always love to visit in evenings considering there is more crowd of people around you. As I took a walk around it, sitting on d bench or simply observing the people around I met interesting people..

Its a delight to watch kids play, their laughs, those fights over whose turn it is to sit on d swing, the way they run everything. During that time my family called me literally now and then since I was alone to inquire whether I had lunch or nt, what I am doing or just in general to talk to me. One day Dad didnt cal me at the usual time. I tried calling it was busy. I waited for long and then went out. Later at night when he called I was mad at him. And cribbed that why he didnt call me. And fought with him. The actual thing was I missed him but could’nt express that to him.. It always happen with some people that I jst cant tell thm that I love them, I miss them so badly that its hard to express that to them..

There are those handful of people in my life about whom I just cant express.. I often fail at expressing at the right time. I often fight with them instead of simply telling them that I need them, I love them. I fail to show my right on them all I do is scold them or as lot of people say i become their mother. Majorly this people in my life are men. I fail to tell them hw much they matter to me, how much I love them..

So to all those men whom I fight with, yell at, scold them like a mother the point is actually I love u guys its jst that I cant express that to you guys. I am a hopeless case, insensible and often crazy. I am difficult to deal with, have so many flaws but thanks for loving me.

I may not say this often but I love you. You guys make my world. Like m ma say’s I am completely a man’s woman.. And I want to be that forever. Each relation that I share with you guys is precious, it makes me the woman I am.. Dad, r, kaka, sid, k, d, nana, dada, c and many more you guys make m world. Make me the woman I am. Thank you for loving me.. Keep doing that forever.

You all are so similar yet so different. And I love each one of you differently but with same dedication and commitment.

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Bande Ache Hai..

They are awesome friends, rocking dad’s, superstar husbands, great colleagues, amazing relatives.. Each role they play they play it beautifully.. There is perfection even in their imperfection.  Love them or hate them but you can’t ignore them. 

The way they hog, the way they drive you nuts, their eating and burping, their love for drinks, acting like babies, often crying in arms, gossips they do, the way the make you laugh till you cry, the silly ways of their fights but above all the way they love…Be it my dad, my husband, uncle, friends or brother’s they all are so similar yet so different. Men who often fail to say through words but say it all by the way they do lil things for me.. Like the advt by ICICI Prudential ” Bande ache hai ” whoever has made truly strikes the chord.. I love that advt. Each story associates to the various men in my life.. Cheers to all those Ache Bande’s in my life..

 

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Life is good

when…..

1. Your husband is out for dinner and he wishes instead he was eating your hand cooked food..

2. Your grandfather sees a dance no on TV and feels you would have liked it and danced on it for sure.

3. Your sis tells her daughter has dimples exactly like u..

4. Your ma asks you for recipes..

5. Your dad proudly tells you that he managed to book tickets online the way you taught him to..

6. Your bro-in-law persuades you to get something from his bro..

7. Your father-in-law takes your side instead of his son.

8. You re-fit into your old jeans..

9. You fight with your husband on whose turn it is to close the lights..

10. You and your husband go on a long drive late one night and you doze off with the cool breeze..

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How much for you is too much???

“How do you know how much is too much? Too much, too soon? Too much information? Too much fun? Too much love? Too much to ask? And when is it all just too much to bear?”

[ Grey’s Anatomy,Season 2 Ep. 10 “Much Too Much”]

Have you ever wondered when someone said that’s too much. And all I think is who defines the limits, where to stop that maximum limit. I wish even in life, in relations, in food someone would fix MRP for us so we know that’s maximum one can get, give or ask for.. After that is null set..

When R and I were trying to convince parents a lot of people asked me till how long will you wait for his parents consent, how much more you plan to give in. And I was speechless most of the times on that. I mean how do you define the limits of love, of faith and of patience? Is there a measuring unit for that.. No I guess..

Each individuals have different capacities in giving, taking or asking. Often one’s levels literally motivates the other person to walk one more extra mile.. I have heard a lot of people I am giving too much, or I am not getting that much.. What is that much?

Major problem in our life, relations, work is either  too much or not much.. Our life revolves around this. Do we personally know our own limits? No I guess. Often with each person, each relation, time and situation our limits vary. I may not tolerate a colleagues bashing but would smile on the same bashing done by my friend. Or when a person is just a colleague or acquaintance my tolerance levels are different after they become friends or close relation.

Personally I would say with experience with age, with time my levels have certainly changed. However I still find for some things they are really low..A friend of mine who is undergoing divorce, told me at start the newness of relationship of love made me tolerant. But then it started getting too much, and I could no longer take it and so we decided to part ways. The same guy was the one she madly fell in love with, fought with parents to get married and now that very guy has become difficult to tolerate for her?

No one actually has the answer for that how much is too much.. But still have we ever sat and retrospect that what actually we want. We often in order to get something give in too much, twist our limits and make a person use to that. Then once we have got the validation that its urs, we get back to our original levels. And then expect the other person to understand us, to act accordingly. But in reality we are confusing them, and then they say you have changed or things have changed. Actual is we put up a different face before and then reality strikes. Some people show the reality, some still wear masks which in turn frustrates them from within. And then often the bubble bursts and things go haywire..

We need to understand and accept that often whats prima facie isn’t the reality. At work, at home, in relation everywhere we need to give them a Margin of Error or either try and communicate or show our Zone of Tolerance so the person knows the limits well. Its important we make things clear rather than expecting people to know. Life will be much happier if we accept this fact..

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