“How do you know how much is too much? Too much, too soon? Too much information? Too much fun? Too much love? Too much to ask? And when is it all just too much to bear?”
[ Grey’s Anatomy,Season 2 Ep. 10 “Much Too Much”]
Have you ever wondered when someone said that’s too much. And all I think is who defines the limits, where to stop that maximum limit. I wish even in life, in relations, in food someone would fix MRP for us so we know that’s maximum one can get, give or ask for.. After that is null set..
When R and I were trying to convince parents a lot of people asked me till how long will you wait for his parents consent, how much more you plan to give in. And I was speechless most of the times on that. I mean how do you define the limits of love, of faith and of patience? Is there a measuring unit for that.. No I guess..
Each individuals have different capacities in giving, taking or asking. Often one’s levels literally motivates the other person to walk one more extra mile.. I have heard a lot of people I am giving too much, or I am not getting that much.. What is that much?
Major problem in our life, relations, work is either too much or not much.. Our life revolves around this. Do we personally know our own limits? No I guess. Often with each person, each relation, time and situation our limits vary. I may not tolerate a colleagues bashing but would smile on the same bashing done by my friend. Or when a person is just a colleague or acquaintance my tolerance levels are different after they become friends or close relation.
Personally I would say with experience with age, with time my levels have certainly changed. However I still find for some things they are really low..A friend of mine who is undergoing divorce, told me at start the newness of relationship of love made me tolerant. But then it started getting too much, and I could no longer take it and so we decided to part ways. The same guy was the one she madly fell in love with, fought with parents to get married and now that very guy has become difficult to tolerate for her?
No one actually has the answer for that how much is too much.. But still have we ever sat and retrospect that what actually we want. We often in order to get something give in too much, twist our limits and make a person use to that. Then once we have got the validation that its urs, we get back to our original levels. And then expect the other person to understand us, to act accordingly. But in reality we are confusing them, and then they say you have changed or things have changed. Actual is we put up a different face before and then reality strikes. Some people show the reality, some still wear masks which in turn frustrates them from within. And then often the bubble bursts and things go haywire..
We need to understand and accept that often whats prima facie isn’t the reality. At work, at home, in relation everywhere we need to give them a Margin of Error or either try and communicate or show our Zone of Tolerance so the person knows the limits well. Its important we make things clear rather than expecting people to know. Life will be much happier if we accept this fact..